A new experience...

There seem to be quite a few new experiences these days in the world of a first time (about to be second time) mommy, missionary, wife, furlough traveling woman. And although I know you all love (or at least tolerate really well :) hearing about the craziness that is Nathan... tonight the new experience was just for me as a person... as a child of God.

Nathan and I made it to my parents house safe and sound yesterday... exhausted, but safe and sound. We were so blessed every step of the way to have people sitting around us, in line around us, and in the general vicinity of us that were kid friendly. Meaning, they didn't look at me as if I was putting them out by traveling alone with my two year old, and most of them were so happy to talk to Nathan, high five Nathan, blow kisses to Nathan, and anything else that would keep him entertained, so yes... very blessed was I!

However, the new experience happened tonight at church. I blogged earlier about the anticipation of being able to be a "normal" participant in church for a few months and also how I was looking forward to worshipping in my "heart language" again, but I truly had no idea what lay ahead. As I sat there in what felt like a true multitude I felt a little schizophrenic... mind you, I'm pretty sure I'm not a diagnosed schizo, nor have I ever recognized those tendencies in myself :) But tonight standing with Nathan in my arms and worshipping I was so overwhelmed... I can't even think of words to truly explain it.

My mind was bouncing around like the ball in a pinball machine trying to understand what it was truly feeling. If I had to explain it in image form it was as if there were all these me's... each one feeling something so so so different. The first me was so enjoying the true privilege of being able to worship in English, among brothers and sisters and without any true work responsibilities at the same time. The second me could not help but want to run up front and try and "help" (alright alright I said "help"... not lecture :) everyone understand what a true gift they have been given in being a part of a body that it able to worship freely together every week... I just wanted to "help" everyone understand what they've been given and not to view it as a chore but a true gift. The third me was aching for our teammates who have yet to come home on furlough... wishing that they could have been standing right beside me, singing praises to the God who has carried us through the past two years. And the fourth me ached for our Bolivian brothers and sisters... I imagined what my sister Leticia would think and feel sitting beside me. Leticia and her family worshipped in Cochabamba for years all by themselves. They on so many occasions have expressed to us as a team what it means to their family to have the fellowship of our families and the new church body in Cochabamba. So my heart could only imagine what she would have felt sitting among her American brothers and sisters of such a great multitude... hearing their many many voices raised in praise to the God she has worshipped for years, whether alone or with a body of believers.

As I held Nathan and he clapped his hands in praise as we sang the tears ran down my face. I am blessed. There is not one Laura who wins out over them all, but a melding of them each... and while there is such a mixture of joy, guilt, responsibility, and longing... they together result in an individual who will treasure these next few months of being blessed by her brothers and sisters stateside, while remembering in her heart that her Christian family is not bound by geography, or genealogy, but only by the blood of Christ that covers us all. What a new experience it was to be so so so full of so many different emotions, but it is each of those emotions that make me who I am, that explain better the journey God has brought me on, and the path that I and our family continue down. God bless and Good night... more stories from the road to come :)