One of my favorite Christmas gifts to open every year is my Mary Engelbreit calendar from my mom. My mom is great at remembering that special gift every year and I love sitting by the tree looking at all the new artwork for the months to come. This February has to be one of my favorites. A sweet picture of a little girl falling into a huge vat of chocolate with the words... Forget Love... I'd rather fall in Chocolate! Now don't get me wrong I love love as much as the next girl... romance... flowers... good chick flicks and the like, but yesterday was a day when I lived out this motto.
It was one of those: I'm ready to have my body back (as in not share it with the every growing little boy inside), I'm ready to walk normal again, I'm ready to breathe normal again, I'm ready to sleep normal again, I'm ready to be able to sit on the floor gracefully again, I'm ready to wrestle Nathan again, I'm ready to not cry at the drop of a hat again, I'm not ready to go through labor again (what woman in the world truly enjoys the experience of labor I ask you?), I'm not ready to go through labor in a hospital I haven't worked in and don't know half the staff in, I'm not ready to inhabit the land of infancy all over again, I'm not ready to give up my one on one time with Nathan yet, I'm ready to shoot the water company (who bring our big jugs of purified water) who have now told me for two days they were just minutes away with my water and of which I have not yet to see a drop, I'm not ready to have Grant without my mom here, I am a little excited to have the experience of adding a little one to our family with just the three of us here (oh the contradiction of pregnancy hormones in the brain), and the list went on and on and on...
So after a meltdown with my husband first and then Katie later, who in all her precious new momminess ventured out with Jubilee and Malakai to come visit us... I did what any intelligent and good problem solving female would do... I made brownies :) And not just any brownies... when desperate times call for desperate measures there is only one recipe of brownies that will cure the problem and it's my dad's.
As I add the mounds of sugar, flour, oil, eggs (I know... such a healthy treat huh?) I am reminded that all will be well again in just 30 short minutes... they were great beater licking for Nathan, bedtime snack (and breakfast - shhh don't tell my doc!) for mommy and therapy for the soul! So love, yes, there was definitely love involved in the baking last night... but last night the remedy for my conflicted heart was falling into chocolate :)
It's all the basic food groups (protein from the eggs, spiritual nourishment from the chocolate).
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Interesting that the brownies prompted thoughts of me. I was listening to my new Steven Curtis Chapman CD and the song Cinderalla came on ... and it certainly prompted thoughts of you, dear one.
She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
the weight of the world on my shoulders
It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me saying,
"Dad I need you!
There's a ball in the castle and I've been invited ... and I need to practice my dancing
So please ... Daddy, please
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something
that even the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone
Missing you ... dear one.
laura, you are always so honest and open with your true feelings. i admire that, and i love reading about your experiences through the eyes of someone overseas. thanks for that! and oh my goodness...those brownies sound like an amazing remedy to all that you are NOT ready for!
ReplyDeleteDid you have that baby yet?
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