Here's the deal...

Okay, so here's the deal. I've been trying to figure out why and how my anxiety about the current situation in Bolivia is different than my anxiety was in 2007 when we had such political turmoil here in our own streets of Cochabamba. And I think I've figured it out...

In 2007, as we were preparing for the church's inaugural weekend and juggling only one child and living in a house far removed from downtown, I was more scared anxious. I was worried about our food supplies, Gary was worried that things would happen on the bridges, separating us from the things and people that we needed downtown (the church, the office, and our teammates), and I was worried for our safety.

In 2007 I was still pretty fresh on the field. We had been on our own in Bolivia for almost a year and I still was at the point that I would have jumped at the opportunity to board a plane for home (at which time for me was the states). But you see this time around I think I'm upset anxious (a little mixture of mad and sad). And the difference is that I don't want to board any planes headed anywhere but here.

The difference between January 2007 and now? This is my home... my life is here. I'm not worried about food supply. We're stocked on canned foods, have a billion little stores surrounding our apartment and we'll make do with what we have. I'm not worried about our safety, especially since the violence and political tension for now is isolated to other parts of the country and our streets appear as they always do. I'm not worried about getting separated from teammates (who live only 6-7 blocks from us), the church (located only 7 blocks from us) or the office (located only 5-6 blocks from us).

What worries me now is that a situation, or the government, will put us in a position in which we have to leave. This city, this apartment is our home. I love this apartment, from the moment we stepped foot inside it just felt like home. I love our building, it's location, it's safety, and it's privacy. I love downtown. We're not normally downtown kind of people, but for the lifestyle that South America provides, the conveniences of living downtown far far far outweigh the inconveniences. I love our life here, the way we're able to really focus on what's important to us and make ministry our full-time jobs!

I've gotten to a great place in our life here, and now I feel as if it's being threatened. So this time around I'm just upset that our way of life here could be taken away in the blink of an eye, upset about all that we could possibly have to leave behind (meaning our brothers and sisters here, the church work, and our friends... not our possessions). So for now all is calm in Cochabamba. Nothing has been truly resolved politically, but things have calmed down. There's no current threat of us having to hop a jet plane anytime soon, but we have a plan if we need it. For now, I'm praying and pleading with God to intervene in the situation here, to work as only He can to make things right for the people of Bolivia, and that in that, we'll be able to stay and finish what He brought us here to do.