Content...

(Warning to all readers... let the processing begin...) This past Wednesday Joshua and I made it safely back to Cochabamba. We had a whirlwind stateside trip of business and pleasure :) Can I just say as a sidenote that my little boy is the best traveler ever? Not having flown before, and not using carseats here, you never know how your kids are going to react, but he did awesome! It was his first stamp in his passport :) his first flight (6 to be exact) and his first time meeting so many friends and family!

While our trip was great and so needed, I'm having some problems upon our return... what I'm finding is that since the trip was so short, I wasn't given enought time to be tired of stateside life. Usually after furlough I'm ready to head back here to our own home, our slower pace of life, and our work as a family. Even though I was missing my hubby and boys like crazy, I'm finding that I the trip wasn't long enough for me to miss Bolivia.

It's a hard thing living between two cultures. Wow, that's an understatement... and so this last week or so I've really struggled with being content back here in my Bolivian home. It's taken some intentional thinking, giving thanks for the things I do love about my life here, and visits with some dear friends (who understand the struggle of balancing two cultures and being content in whichever one you find yourself) to help me fight the funk.

I know that our time is limited here, that this year is going to fly by. But I don't want to take comfort in that fact. I want to soak up our last year here. I want to savor every moment, every memory, and every opportunity. As Gary will tell you (according to all the personality testing we've done in the course of our married life) I, Laura Bull, am an advancer. Which as I understand it, means that I am a person who likes forward motion, planning and completing the task. This limbo land of not moving forward (b/c we're still too far out from our move date) is killing me. I want to be packing stuff, selling stuff, pitching stuff, finding a house stateside for us, applying for grad schools (for Gary... I am most definitely NOT going back to school), finding jobs to support ourselves while Gary's in school... oh and the list goes on.

But that desire to be in forward motion can rob today of its joy, its memories, and its value in my life. I'm trying daily to remember Paul's words of wisdom about being content in any situation, "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation", but can I confess that I'm struggling to put them into practice?

Little pieces of me...

Tomorrow night I'll board a plane with Joshua in my arms. Nathan and Grant will be here at home, getting ready for bed with their daddy, and carrying a piece of my heart with them (whether they realize it or not).

Being a mommy is the most humbling experience by far that this life has brought my way... it has taught me so much about life, myself, and my heart. Did you know that the heart can be shared? It's not divided, not torn, but shared between my three sons... and since two of them will be staying here for two weeks holding down the fort with their daddy, pieces of my heart will stay here with them. It will be a long two weeks away from them, and yet I know it will fly by...

I will miss their giggles, their hugs, their kisses, their spontaneous Mommy, I love you's, their sweet faces beside our bed in the morning, their sticky faces, chubby hands, and basically all that is them... and as I sing their bedtime songs tonight, I will hug them a little tighter, hold them a little longer, and pray over them a little stronger, that they will always know, that no matter where I am, they hold pieces of my heart!