Catch Up

So... long time, no blog :) and we have made it safely stateside once again. Mind you... after a long long long flight with a crazy one year old who could not understand why he couldn't walk up and down the aisles of our plane :) But overall, it was an uneventful trip, which is definitely what you pray for when traveling internationally with a little one. My folks and sister had a great visit in Bolivia, getting a taste of our life in Cbba and enjoying getting reacquainted with their grandson and nephew. My sister posted some great pics of their trip and her visit with her Compassion Int. child on her blog so head on over and check them out (Bolivia pics 1, Bolivia pics 2) . I'll be putting some fun new stories of our first few days back home... which will involve some crazy wal-mart experiences, and all kinds of fun stuff... so until then. good night friends and family, who are now just a local call away :)

My own personal photographer

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Here I am again, Nathan speaking... did I mention that I'm one year old now? Just thought I'd check and make sure that everyone knew :) And in honor of my birthday my Aunt Emily came to visit me with my Nana and Papa. Well, you see my Aunt Emily got a new camera recently, and who is there better in the world to take pictures of than me? So I thought I'd have mommy put a few of them on our blog for you all to see! Sorry for the funny faces, I'm keeping 'em laughing down here in Cbba... that's for sure :)

My little one-year old

Welcome back to the Bull family to the land of blogging. Life has been a little crazy around here... good crazy, but crazy none the less! We are finally settled in our new house (to the help of teammates and my parents and sister - who made it here safely and have been enjoying their time here in Cbba). But settling into a new house also means transferring all of your previous services to your new house... which in Cbba can takes weeks, and while it took less time than expected to hook up our internet service, it was still too long for me. You just have no idea how you rely on the internet to keep in touch with others until you don't have it at the tips of your fingers. So needless to say, we are happy to be back online. and happy to report that in our period of absence... Nathan turned one year old. It was a really special day as he had his Nana, Papa, and Aunt Emily here to celebrate with him. His daddy grilled out for our family, teammates, and friends... only about 60 or 70 shishkabobs :) and did a great job! Nathan had a ton of fun exploring his new toys, as you can see below, but wasn't quite sure what to think about his #1 candle on his cupcake, oh well, we'll wait til next year to experience the whole face in the cake thing :) But for now, we're just enjoying having our family here and getting ready to start packing for our international travel adventures back to the states! Thank you to all who thought of, and prayed for Nathan on his special day... we are blessed beyond measure!

This is what it means...

So to tell you how the last few days have been here in Cbba... there must be a time of confession. Not necessarily a confession that I am proud to disclose, but one that must be shared none the less. The last year has been a hard year for me... now I know that is not a newsflash to those who know me, or have followed the going ons in the life of the Bulls. But what is not always noticeable is that I had not truly enjoyed mommyhood like I had hoped to. Chalk it up to PPD, culture shock (to mommyland and Bolivia), or whatever else you might think of. But at the same time please don't misunderstand, I love my son, have from the day we found out he would one day enter our world. But have struggled so as a new mommy with confidence. Not sure if other new mommies struggle the same way, but I truly felt inadequate. That doesn't even begin to describe it though, there was an anxiety in my heart about being a mommy. If I had to take Nathan somewhere by myself, or go to church by myself (without Gary) there was an anxiety deep inside me about being enough. Not knowing if I could do it on my own. That yuckiness really spilled over into our marriage, into how I interacted with my husband and my son. Again, please know that my son has not been mistreated :) He has been loved and nurtured from the day he entered this world. But this last week he has been enjoyed by this mommy in a way that I never knew I could. I have loved being a mommy this week. From the crying to the laughing, I have loved every minute. I could tell you different reasons for the change, but there is only one that I know without a shadow of a doubt has come into my life like a fresh breeze, and that is the presence of my Lord. I have prayed and prayed over the last few weeks in a different way than I have since, well... truly since the miscarriage, and my life, my spirit, and my soul can attest to the difference. I thank God for His Spirit that He left to comfort, guide and impart His wisdom until His Son returns. That Spirit has been a new life in me this past week and I am reborn. So to all of those who have us in their daily prayers... know that no matter what you have been praying for us, your prayers have been answered, and this mommy is "disfrutando" (enjoying - savoring) my roles in life. It makes my heart ache a little that it has taken this long, but it is all in the Lord's timing, and His timing is ALWAYS perfect. Praise the Lord oh my soul!

Answered Prayers

Just wanted to give everyone a quick update on the crazy nose situation going on down here :) We went to the doctor on Thursday to get results of the biopsy and x-rays taken on Monday... and wouldn't you know... we hit a snag. I was sooooo missing the medical system in the states as the secretary looked at me like I was crazy when I asked if they had the results to my tests in the office. You see... and I should have remembered this from other team members experiences, but you live and learn... here you have to go and pick up your own x-rays / test results / whatever else they did... and actually take it to the doctor's office yourself. Now I'm used to the system in the states where you practically have to give them your first born child and sign release documents in your own blood to receive medical records. But here... you just walk up... and request your results... no i.d... no first born... no blood... no nothing. So Friday I went to pick up the results (because after the doh moment in the doctor's office... the secretary had called ahead to the hospital to check on the results and of course they weren't done). Then Friday afternoon was able to touch base with the Doc. She said that all came back clear... no malignancy Praise our God and now we are just going to go forward from here with a CT of the head (I'm telling you she's worried I don't have a brain :) So all of that to say... thank you so much for all your prayers!!! After much prayers, and much chocolate ice cream (comfort foods!) we are alot more relaxed down here :)

And answered prayer #2... drumroll please... we found a house. We'll be moving in.. Lord willing on the first of September and are really excited. With every motorcycle / car alarm / bark of the dog that lives above us I thank God that He has provided us with a home, that will give us a little more space and tranquility. There is an attic bedroom with tons of room AND... it's own bathroom... PERFECT for visitors... so seriously come on down. The Bull hotel will be up and running with it's first guests... my folks and sister around the tenth of September :) And we'd love to have more in the months to come. God bless you all!