Could someone please tell me how to explain to my almost three-year old the idea of weighing the cost?
You see Gary and I, as adults, made the decision to follow God's calling and move our lives to Bolivia. We knew there would be hard times, sacrifices to be made, but we also knew that the blessing of being a part of full-time ministry would be worth the cost. I have no idea how to even begin to explain this to Nathan.
The whole idea of weighing the cost surfaced the other day through a miscommunication between Nathan and I. I asked if he would like to go to the post office with me to pick up a package from Nena and Papa. In the words I communicated, all my precious son's ears heard were Papa. So off we went, in my mind to the post office, in Nathan's mind, to Papa. After we got our package filled with goodies from home, we loaded back up in a taxi to return to our apartment here. It was at this moment that Nathan realized a trip to Papa's house was not on the day's agenda. The tears began, the pleas for Papa, Nena and Do-Do were without end and I was without words.
How do I explain to him the miles between us and our families? How do I tell him that we can't go on the airplane everyday to see Papa? How do I make him understand that it will be another year before we do again? Gary and I know without doubt that we've made the right decision in being here, despite the fact that there are many things, and people, that we've had to leave behind. But how, oh how, do I help Nathan understand that the work we do here in Cochabamba will make a difference for eternity in a way that will make all our temporary heartaches worth it? And how do I help him understand when, even though I am truly truly happy and at peace with our lives here, there is a piece of my heart within me that wants to shed a tear too... as I hold him tight and say, I know sweetheart, I want to see them too.
Wow, Laura. This is definitely not one from the text books. These are the times that I have had to pray and trust that God speaks to my children's hearts the unique and tender way that only he knows how. Let's get together, yeah?
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine the heartbreak you both most have experienced. It is such a gift to have such amazing family and for Nathan to adore them as he does...only gut wrenching to have to watch him confused over the distance and time between being able to see them.
ReplyDeleteWe were on vacation this week and were able to see Rob's parents. Every day afterwards, Zoe asked, "Where Grammie go?"...it was so bittersweet! If you somehow manage to figure it out you will have to let me know. Chicago is no Bolivia, but we find ourselves wishing God's call in our lives was for ministry in the area we both grew up in! Molly
what a tear jerker! If that doesn't make your parents get on a plane right now to go see that little boy, I don't know what will. : )
ReplyDeleteAngie... why is it I always have to be reminded that God can work in ways far greater than I in the hearts of my children? Thank you for the gentle reminder.
ReplyDeleteMolly... I love reading about the grandparent visits you guys are blessed with, even though I know it's fewer than you wish. Your kiddos are so precious and I know both sets of your parents value their time with them!
Andrea... I know if they hadn't just been here, or us just been there, they would be on the next flight they could, but we do what we can :)
I wish I had a good answer up my sleeve, but I don't. I struggle to impart some of the mostly deeply held tenets of faith to our kids in a way they can understand. But I will be praying for wisdom for you as you figure it out (it's a prayer I pray for myself regularly!)
ReplyDeleteI was about to say exactly what Andrea said ;-)
ReplyDeleteI in no way have been thru your experience, but when my parents separated, we went thru a period where C would ask when she would see her Nana (who had moved out of state). I was saying that "Mommy prayer" - Dear God, how do I handle this one?
I think God has a way of speaking in a child's heart. I know that your love and reassurance will carry Nathan through even when words to say fail you. I think sharing a tear and sharing the emotions teach Nathan in ways that words never would.
You are a great mom!:)
laura, i am so sorry. i can't imagine how tough that is. i know this doesn't help right now, but someday nathan will understand.
ReplyDeletewhat a beautiful example his mommy and daddy are of being jesus' feet.
and SOMEday, he will get to spend eternity w/ his grandparents and all the people that adore him. but again, i realize this doesn't help right now. i will pray for y'all about this.
How hard to explain, when all the heart wants is miles away. We go though a "withdrawal" period (if you will) even with the grandparents being 3 hours away. I think it is difficult for any child to understand why they cannot go see people right when they want. When we moved from AR, Caleb would cry to go to Claire's house and he couldn't understand why we didn't just hop in the car. Even as I tried to tell him, that she was 6 hours away, my brain was thinking really what is 6 hours.
ReplyDeleteYou and Gary are doing such a great work and like you said the momentary heartaches will be with it all. i wish I had words to say that would make it all easier, but as you can tell from the other responses, all we can do is pray that God touches his big heart and tells him what he needs to know. God is all powerful and will give you, Gary and Nathan all the understanding that you need in this and many more situations. We are praying for you
Laura,
ReplyDeletethis post brought tears to my eyes. May God give you peace and wisdom as you raise your children away from family. Know that you are giving Nathan a GIFT that one day he will cherish -- an eternal perspective of the world, a love for people of all nations, an understanding of our "alienness" in this world. I know you know that, and my heart aches with you as you seek to instill these things in him and to calm his heart that is still to young to fully understand.