I am a slow processor… not as in challenged, but as in I tend to put off processing those things which will be hard to face until they stare right back at me… challenging me to step around them or simply face them. One of the things that I have been side-stepping for awhile now is the fact that in going home, there will be things that have happened that we will have to face, have to process, and have to grieve.
Gary and I have experienced what seems like to us, a great deal of loss in our two families over the past two years. It is truly hard in the moment to grieve, so far from your loved ones. It’s hard for the loss to be truly real. But in going home, there will be one less place at the table, one less Christmas gift to prepare, one less voice heard, and that is the reality that I think I have so carefully tried to avoid.
But none the less (as happens with reality) here I sit, staring face to face the reality that loss has happened. Inevitably we will go to visit graves, we will have conversations, we will shed tears and deep in my heart I know that in the end it will be healing. But my heart in this moment says, can’t I stay with my head stuck in the sand for just a moment longer? I pray that Gary and I both have the strength to process for ourselves, but also to be the support for our families that they will need as they relive their losses with us once again. We always covet your prayers, and as we travel, prayers will be needed on so many levels, this being the one closest to my heart tonight.
You got it friend. I would imagine that coming home is provocative in many ways, but the absence of Papa Sterne is a huge one. I will be keeping the whole fam in prayer.
ReplyDeletePraying for you and your extended families as you mourn, reminisce, and heal.
ReplyDeleteyour in my prayers, friend.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for both you and Gary as you both grieve the losses of a niece and grandfather. Love you.
ReplyDeleteWe are keeping ya'll in our prayers. My grandpa James died while we lived in Alaska and I couldn't get home for the funeral (way too expensive and too far away, as I know you understand)...it still is hard for me to remember that he is gone. The closure will be hard, but we love you and your family loves you and they will help you along with our everloving Lord to get you what you need. Remember the good memories and you will heal.
ReplyDelete