This will be short and sweet as I've run out of words (as I've heard before :) It appears that although the parasites are gone... we now have a type of amoeba that has taken up residence in the precious body of my sweet boy. We started medicine today and will continue it for 10 days trying to get rid of the ugly bug... but my heart is hurting, my spirit is weak, and I feel under attack. I know many say we as Christians should take as a compliment, that Satan sees us as enough of a threat to attack. But I can tell you I'm a little to weary to feel complimented, just angry, irritated, and alot of other yucky emotions right now... praying they will go away soon... so thankful that aside from a being fussy, Nathan's pretty much himself... I'm just feeling as his mommy, and the caretaker of this home, a little violated. And though I know the word violated is a strong word, it puts into words perfectly how I am feeling right now... I do everything I humanly know to do to keep our home sanitary despite living in a city that's not always "clean". And so to have this continue to happen to Nathan just makes me feel lousy, like I'm letting him down as his mommy. I'm so sorry for the "yuckies" that have been voiced here, but mission work, like life, is full of ups and downs. I sure am ready for some of the ups to start coming our way. Thank you for being a listening ear, and a prayer support!
(The emotions and ideas voiced in this post are in no way a reflection of how Nathan is doing :) ... aside from the slightly increased fussiness, majorly increased number of dirty diapers, and some discomfort in his tummy, he's really doing well... so know that he's going to survive... and have fun doing it, I just needed to voice some frustrations and am thankful for friends and family who read and have given me a place to voice frustrations when I need to! Thank you!)
I'm so sorry, Laura. That is CRUMMY! I love you guys and will be praying for Nathan's health and his parents' nerves. My heart is there with you, my friend.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like no fun, I can imagine I would be feeling the same way. We Moms have a special knack for blaming ourselves for bad things that happen to our children. But, we're not in control! I constantly have to remind myself of that. Thanks for being so honest and sharing your life with us! Peace be with you!
ReplyDeleteAndrea Manor
Girl!! I TOTALLY feel your pain, times 3!! Just be glad that you have only one little one to care for right now, right? I'm smiling as I type this because if I don't laugh, I too fear, I just may break down in tears from pure tiredness. I'm sure you are feeling it,too. I'm praying for you and Nathan this week. Keep us updated. I have found an easier way to clean things up though, if you can find a pair of disposable rubber gloves, somehow the messys don't seem quite soo bad. Can you find a pair in your part of the country? Much love!!!
ReplyDeleteLaura!!! I am so sorry that Nathan is under attack again-I hate that your heart and spirit are also under attack. We will be praying hard for you to regain your strength and smile. Just think this will only make you, Gary and Nathan stronger in spirit and hopefully immune systems!
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the ways you are feeling..I have had the exact same thoughts before especially when my children have repeatedly come down with nasty staff infections. I am constantly spraying Lysol around our house in hopes to rid our kids of this sickness and yet it still happens..We do our best and have no choice but to trust the Lord with the rest if we are going to attain any kind of peace of mind.
For me, it seems like my attitude and ability to handle things is so much more difficult when I am tired and when the circumstances have been difficult over a period of time like you are presently experiencing. Thankfully, it does seem to eventually pass and I find my spirits are lifted and my children are healthy again...I kind of look at it like seasons...if we are down, I know good times are coming and if things are good, I try to truly enjoy it and pray that I will be equipped for whatever season is to come.
Thanks for sharing your heart...being real is important and it is the only way that we can get the encouragement that we need.
Blessings on you sweet sister.
Praying for you,
Kelly
You are a great mom! I see it in a million little ways - from the way you teach and discipline Nathan, to the way you feed him healthy food, to the way you love on him. I am thankful to have you as a mom here with me- and Nathan as Michaela's friend!
ReplyDeleteJulie